An Honest Description of Life as a New Mom

Being a mom is the hardest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever done.

Don’t get me wrong… I love being a mom and I will get to all of that soon. But… being a mom is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Probably in part a by-product of the postpartum hormones. But largely because I have always been an intensely emotional person, and being a mom has brought entirely new layers of emotions, and honestly – I’m exhausted.

Firstly, I’m a selfish person. I love my sleep, I love naps – and don’t ever wake me up from a nap unless you are ready to face my furry. But as a mom… sleep? Oh, you mean those sporadic 1-2 hour naps – yeah those are great! And it’s just my reality now; I just don’t have the luxury of sleeping in on Sundays anymore.

Then there are the sweet luxuries of trying a new bottle of wine on a Friday night, and why not opening a second bottle! I really don’t think my entirely breastfeed baby would appreciate the taste of Chianti as much as I do. Which is fine, I get to enjoy a small glass of wine every once and a while, as well as the occasional beer. But honestly, not waking up with a hangover does have its advantages!

Although this may be only 2 small examples of the long list of changes I’ve faced in the past 2 months, I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

Have you seen my son? Spoiler: he’s perfect.

His dark brown curious eyes are what have been melting my heart recently. He’s awake and aware, and he’s recently started smiling… on purpose!

I’ve never been prouder of myself than how I’ve handled being a mom.  I’ve shown myself a whole new strength I never knew I had. Everything we’ve had to go through since Mason’s birth has been short of extremely stressful. Although I had my moments where I broke down in tears or got impatient with a nurse, or family or friends – I did it. I woke up every 2 hours for the past 2 months to feed my child and put him back to sleep. I’ve changed hundreds of diapers at all hours of the day. Oh and, the puking. I’ve been puked on thousands of times. Side note: If you haven’t seen my baby, he’s 12.9 lbs at 3 months old – don’t worry he’s eating more than enough, and no, he’s not overfed. He’s just like that. Good thing I’ve always loved doing laundry!

So far, everything my family and friends have said about being a mom has been right on point. So when they tell me it will get easier, I believe them.  I’m taking it one day at a time, and spending my day seeing this little boy evolve is just the most incredible thing.

I hope if anything, that he grows up one day, and understands how much I loved him in this very moment while he naps next to me.

Since I’m strong on the “nap while he sleeps rule”, I’m going to go close my eyes. *Refer to part where I explain that I’m selfish about sleep.

Good morning world and goodnight!

Having a Bad Day? Let’s Change That…

Have you ever had one of those days, where everything seemed to go completely wrong?

I started writing this post last week, halfway through what seemed to be the worst day ever. I slept through my alarm… so my morning was off to a great start already. I tried my best to be semi-presentable and rushed to catch my bus. As I left my building, the bus was driving passed me and I ran to catch it… I managed to leap into the largest slush puddle, and got my socks, completely soaked. I missed the bus, and had to walk 15 minutes to the next stop. Finally when I got on my bus, I had the loudest person come sit next to me, blabbing away on their phone. I forgot my headphones back at home, which means it was a torturous commute… Eventually after a 1 hour bus ride, I finally get to work. Of course the first thing on my mind is… COFFEE. I grab a fresh cup, sit at my desk, and I’m sure you can already tell where I’m going with this… I dropped the entire cup on my desk and lap. I remember being stunned and walking away, hiding in the bathroom to let out a few tears. Why is everything going so wrong? Why is this happening to me?

The truth is, and some might disagree, but bad energy brings bad results. Yes, some things are completely out of our control, but what we do have control over is the way we choose to feel about the situation.

If I wasn’t so upset about missing my bus, having to walk, and the fact that my feet were wet and cold, I might not have been so annoyed with the person talking on the phone. And if I wasn’t so upset about all of that I might not have been on edge, and could have avoided spilling my coffee. Listen, I know what I’m saying is easier to accept after the fact. It’s hard to be positive when you’re standing in a cold puddle that’s formed in your boots, or drenched in burning hot coffee. I get it. But sometimes, if we just moved passed those problems, and looked around instead of sulking, we would see all the magic that surrounds us.

Just the other day I was upset because my cellphone died while I was commuting home. As I put my phone away I started to look at the people around me waiting at the bus stop. That’s when I noticed this elderly lady struggle to walk through the mounts of snow with her large grocery bags. These men in suits rushed passed her, I thought to myself “someone should help her… I should help her”… before I could take a step, this young man, maybe 16 years old at the most, stopped her and asked her if she needed help, he grabbed her bags and walked her to the bench inside the bus stop. My eyes filled with water. How lucky I was to witness this moment, how lucky I was that for once, I wasn’t too busy staring at my screen. 

All this to say… I made a list of things to remember, for the next time I accidentally jump in puddles without my rain boots. (Because jumping in puddles can actually be very therapeutic.) 

Accept the Situation

Oh, you spilled your coffee? That really sucks. Are you still alive? Thought so. Clean up, brush it off and make a new cup.

It Could be Worse

Your boss was tough on you today, and you get home all worked up… Move on, you might not always like your job, but at least you have a job.

Force Yourself to Smile

Are you mad? Oh no… You’re furious! You say there’s no way anything can turn your mood around? Really? Please Google “Funny Pugs” and tell me that you don’t feel a little bit better.

This Isn’t Permanent

OKAY FINE. Some days are just so impossible that you can’t move past them… At least find comfort in the fact that no matter how hard it gets, This too Shall Pass (my very wise little sister shared that quote with me).

Superhero Mode

You’re having a really shitty day. Guess what? You’re probably not the only one. Get out of your head, and make someone smile, do something nice. I guarantee it will change your perspective.

 

I am Still Learning

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Lazy Learners.”

I would like to introduce this post by giving myself a solid tap on the back. I’m 26 years old, I work 2 jobs and I go to University part-time. In the past couple of months alone, I’ve accomplished a lot of things on my to-do list:

• Starting a blog (oh, hello!)
• Starting to paint and attempting to sell my art
• Being more physically active

So, to say I consider myself a “lazy learner” wouldn’t be fair, I’ve done a lot of reading, research and experimenting to get me where I am today.

To be brutally honest though, there are a whole list of things that I haven’t gotten around to learning, and I’m a bit ashamed of them:

• Learning how to drive
• Learning how to swim
• Learning a new language
• Taking a sewing lesson
• Taking a class in graphic design

In all cases I did some legwork to get myself going, such as watch YouTube videos, read my driver’s manual, use the Duolingo application on a daily basis, but I truly haven’t crossed any of these things off my list. Is it in part laziness? Probably. But, I think it’s more likely that in the grand scheme of things, none of these were my top priorities.

Unfortunately, I did waste a lot of time. The majority of my early twenties was spent being the laziest human on earth. A story for another day…

But in the past 2 to 3 years, I’ve grown as an individual, I’ve truly accomplished so much in such little time, and for that I am very proud of myself.

No one can do it all, it’s impossible. But progress is key.

Remember that not everyone learns the same way. If your first method didn’t work – don’t give up, try a different way.

Steve Jobs