love

An Honest Description of Life as a New Mom

Being a mom is the hardest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever done.

Don’t get me wrong… I love being a mom and I will get to all of that soon. But… being a mom is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Probably in part a by-product of the postpartum hormones. But largely because I have always been an intensely emotional person, and being a mom has brought entirely new layers of emotions, and honestly – I’m exhausted.

Firstly, I’m a selfish person. I love my sleep, I love naps – and don’t ever wake me up from a nap unless you are ready to face my furry. But as a mom… sleep? Oh, you mean those sporadic 1-2 hour naps – yeah those are great! And it’s just my reality now; I just don’t have the luxury of sleeping in on Sundays anymore.

Then there are the sweet luxuries of trying a new bottle of wine on a Friday night, and why not opening a second bottle! I really don’t think my entirely breastfeed baby would appreciate the taste of Chianti as much as I do. Which is fine, I get to enjoy a small glass of wine every once and a while, as well as the occasional beer. But honestly, not waking up with a hangover does have its advantages!

Although this may be only 2 small examples of the long list of changes I’ve faced in the past 2 months, I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

Have you seen my son? Spoiler: he’s perfect.

His dark brown curious eyes are what have been melting my heart recently. He’s awake and aware, and he’s recently started smiling… on purpose!

I’ve never been prouder of myself than how I’ve handled being a mom.  I’ve shown myself a whole new strength I never knew I had. Everything we’ve had to go through since Mason’s birth has been short of extremely stressful. Although I had my moments where I broke down in tears or got impatient with a nurse, or family or friends – I did it. I woke up every 2 hours for the past 2 months to feed my child and put him back to sleep. I’ve changed hundreds of diapers at all hours of the day. Oh and, the puking. I’ve been puked on thousands of times. Side note: If you haven’t seen my baby, he’s 12.9 lbs at 3 months old – don’t worry he’s eating more than enough, and no, he’s not overfed. He’s just like that. Good thing I’ve always loved doing laundry!

So far, everything my family and friends have said about being a mom has been right on point. So when they tell me it will get easier, I believe them.  I’m taking it one day at a time, and spending my day seeing this little boy evolve is just the most incredible thing.

I hope if anything, that he grows up one day, and understands how much I loved him in this very moment while he naps next to me.

Since I’m strong on the “nap while he sleeps rule”, I’m going to go close my eyes. *Refer to part where I explain that I’m selfish about sleep.

Good morning world and goodnight!

Amanda Kayla Liberty | Blog | Video Games

peanut butter and jelly love

The Peanut Butter to My Jelly

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Yin to My Yang.”

Today’s Daily Post prompt is, how do you define the term “soulmate”?

I’ve often debated whether soulmates were real. In my mind it was impossible to define, even if you found someone that you loved entirely, what made them your soulmate?

Today I know what it means to find your soulmate. It was in front of me all along – it was so natural to me, that I didn’t realize I was surrounded with people that had found their soulmates.

First, my Grandpa and Nan. They weren’t the touchy-feely kind of couple, but they were obviously in love. I remember my Nan yelling “FRANK!” from the kitchen to let him know that lunch was ready. They watched movies together and they cooked together. They did everything together. My Grandpa would always joke that every time my Nan would touch his computer, she would manage to break something. She still quotes that joke to this day. I know she misses my Grandpa dearly, we all do. It’s practically impossible to suggest that my grand mother should look for someone new to spend her time with – but she said it best, “I don’t need to find someone new, I had my true love, my best friend, that’s all I will ever need.”

Secondly, my Mamie and Papie. The funniest and the most adorable couple you will ever meet. They are the kind of people that still kiss each other every day, hug and hold each other at family gatherings and the kind of couple that still taps each others butts when the other is walking away. I remember being young and saying “I hope I’m in love like they are when I grow up.” They would do anything for each other, and it’s not because they’ve said that specifically, but everything they do, the way they still look at each other – I have no doubt when I look at them that I am looking at two soulmates.

Lastly, my parents. As their child I know their relationship more than most. My parents dream together, set goals together, and attain them. They’ve always worked as a team, and they always confide in each other. They’ve always had each other’s backs, even when I gave them hell as a teenager. They are the best definition of “support system” you could imagine, and honestly if you don’t have that in a relationship, what do you have? They build projects together and give each other endless credit for the work they accomplished. The sweetest part about them, is when I’m with either of them, they are always saying nice things about the other! My parents love each other beyond belief. I’ve always wanted a relationship like theirs. They are goofy and they make each other laugh. Even if my mom is playing her apps while they watch TV, my parents are always together, because that’s just where they want to be. My parents are the definition of soulmates, it’s clear to see, but even more clearly felt when you are around them.

It’s impossible to go out looking for your soulmate. As many have quoted:

“You don’t find love, love finds you.”

Love found each of my grand parents, and love found my parents.

True love isn’t perfect, it’s flawed and inconvenient at times, it’s hard and it hurts, but love is also perfectly imperfect, grateful and kind. Finding your soulmate is finding a balance within another person.

Falling in love with someone and spending your life with them, now that is one of our lifetime’s greatest adventure.

Basically, my latest artwork sums it up perfectly:

peanut butter and jelly love

You’re the Peanut Butter to My Jelly
Amanda Kayla Liberty
2015