Being a mom is the hardest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever done.
Don’t get me wrong… I love being a mom and I will get to all of that soon. But… being a mom is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Probably in part a by-product of the postpartum hormones. But largely because I have always been an intensely emotional person, and being a mom has brought entirely new layers of emotions, and honestly – I’m exhausted.
Firstly, I’m a selfish person. I love my sleep, I love naps – and don’t ever wake me up from a nap unless you are ready to face my furry. But as a mom… sleep? Oh, you mean those sporadic 1-2 hour naps – yeah those are great! And it’s just my reality now; I just don’t have the luxury of sleeping in on Sundays anymore.
Then there are the sweet luxuries of trying a new bottle of wine on a Friday night, and why not opening a second bottle! I really don’t think my entirely breastfeed baby would appreciate the taste of Chianti as much as I do. Which is fine, I get to enjoy a small glass of wine every once and a while, as well as the occasional beer. But honestly, not waking up with a hangover does have its advantages!
Although this may be only 2 small examples of the long list of changes I’ve faced in the past 2 months, I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
Have you seen my son? Spoiler: he’s perfect.
His dark brown curious eyes are what have been melting my heart recently. He’s awake and aware, and he’s recently started smiling… on purpose!
I’ve never been prouder of myself than how I’ve handled being a mom. I’ve shown myself a whole new strength I never knew I had. Everything we’ve had to go through since Mason’s birth has been short of extremely stressful. Although I had my moments where I broke down in tears or got impatient with a nurse, or family or friends – I did it. I woke up every 2 hours for the past 2 months to feed my child and put him back to sleep. I’ve changed hundreds of diapers at all hours of the day. Oh and, the puking. I’ve been puked on thousands of times. Side note: If you haven’t seen my baby, he’s 12.9 lbs at 3 months old – don’t worry he’s eating more than enough, and no, he’s not overfed. He’s just like that. Good thing I’ve always loved doing laundry!
So far, everything my family and friends have said about being a mom has been right on point. So when they tell me it will get easier, I believe them. I’m taking it one day at a time, and spending my day seeing this little boy evolve is just the most incredible thing.
I hope if anything, that he grows up one day, and understands how much I loved him in this very moment while he naps next to me.
Since I’m strong on the “nap while he sleeps rule”, I’m going to go close my eyes. *Refer to part where I explain that I’m selfish about sleep.
Good morning world and goodnight!
Amanda Kayla Liberty 